"Finally, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus."  Galatians 6:17

Maybe it's because I'm sick.  Maybe it's because I haven't felt well for over 2 weeks and it doesn't seem to be progressing the right way.  I don't know what it is - but here is what is on my mind:

Christians in the United States are sissies.

The more I understand about the global Church, the more I realize that I am product of a too-comfortable, elitist, sissified version of Christianity that much of the majority world Church doesn't know anything about.  Ok, I know it sounds a little tough, but I don't think that I am far off.

I get bombarded with questions every week like, "What do you think God wants me to do with the bonus I got from work?" or "What's God's will for my life?" or "How do I find fulfillment in my life?" or "What are the top ten secrets to a happy, efficient, successful life?"

Those questions are not the questions being asked in the rest of the world by believers.  They are praying things like: "God, please spare my life as I take your gospel to this village" or "God please provide food for my family and I today as we serve you" or "Father, please allow your gospel to run freely in this nation even if it costs me my freedom."

Or maybe, "Don't give me any grief about petty stuff please........I've got beating marks all over my body" like Paul said.  I wonder what Paul and the early church believers would say to our questions?  Probably not much......it's kind of hard to talk with your mouth wide open and tongue on the floor.  We need, at times more frequent, a good dose of perspective.

We are free.  Comfortable.  Wealthy.  Professional.  Educated.  And sissy.

Convenience is the god of the hour, and inconvenience the great devil.  We "go" to church instead of "are" the church.  Church is a thing we attend, not a mystery we become...........at least far too often.

What will it take to awaken us?  I don't know.  Economic upheaval?  Governmental persecution?  Sulfur rain?  World war?  Not sure.

What I do know is that the Apostle Paul was awake........and he had the marks to prove it.

"..may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge.....Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, according to the power that works in us..."  Ephesians 3:18-20

Ok, let me get it out by way of confession and full disclosure - I am sick as a dog today.  I wish I felt like pooh because that would be an improvement.  I can't be around anyone right now, can't talk, can hear out of one ear, my back is achy, and I have a throbbing pain right behind both eyes.  Other than that, I'm swell.

 As a result, I don't know that my brain fully thinks straight.  To start, I'm reading in Ephesians today and I'm struck by the fact that Paul exhorts me to comprehend the love of Christ, and then goes on to tell me that the love of Christ surpasses knowledge.  Unless I missed something, how do you comprehend the incomprehensible? 

Then he compounds my sinuses with this gem: God can do more than you ever imagined or could even think, but that power is not at work outside of you only........it is at work in you.  I don't even have the energy to start thinking about that one right now.

So, since I am running out of energy and maximizing brain cells simulataneously, let me cut to the chase on my thoughts here.  I could not help but think of the seemingly oxymoronic ways in which God works:

When you are weak, you are strong.  When you are poor, you are rich.  When you are persecuted, you are blessed.  When you are a servant, you are great.  When you realize what you can't comprehend, you are wise.

Crazy, isn't it?  You could probably add more to this list as you think about it, but what struck me was this:  The more I come to genuinely understand about what I don't understand, the more I begin to understand.  I know........read it again.

I will never understand the love of Christ.  But the more I realize what I don't understand, the more understanding of His love I get.  I don't really understand what I just said, but I think I am making sense..........humor me.  To know a love that surpasses knowledge is a magnet for me.........it draws me in.  The closer I get though, the bigger a sense of the magnitude I get AND experience.  That is where the knowledge part begins to grow - as we experience His love.

That's it - too tired and achy to do this anymore.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting"  Psalm 139:23-24

I can't log on to my home computer, with its "news" homepage, without seeing that someone is being investigated for something by somebody somewhere.  Literally, it's every day.  Politicians are being investigated.  Moms and Dads under investigation for killing or molesting their kid or somebody else's.  Celebrities under investigation for some financial issue.

We are a culture that loves to investigate, but hates to be investigated.  It's understandable really.  Who can resist taking the opportunity to find out the juicy details of the person under investigation?  It's like being a fly on the wall of their personal lives or getting to go Jack Bauer on them and "bug" their phone, email and home.  It's hard to resist for many, even though it seems so distasteful (case in point, there is a similar logic behind why the National Enquirer and others stay in business - and it's not because the readers are all married to their cousins and living in a double wide next to the Mississippi River).  Man, just hearing the words "You are under investigation" is like a nightmare for most people.

So picture David, this harp playing, slingshot packin', Sasquach killin' shepherd who is on the lamb for a while in his life (get it.....shepherd.........on the lamb..........never mind).  He actually asks God to investigate him.  Great.  Glad that got preserved for all eternity in the pages of Holy Writ so that we can all feel exceedingly intimidated.  Yeah, it's bad enough if someone were to just call up the IRS and let them know they were hoping that they could find it in their heart to audit them this year because they have been waiting patiently for 18 years............but to ask God to investigate you?  That's another thing altogether.

But, that is just what David did.  He asked the One who needs to collect no evidence to check him out.  And then David asked God to point out anything to him that wasn't supposed to be there.  All at once, I feel disturbed and encouraged by this jointly stupid/courageous act.  Disturbed because I realize that asking to be investigated feels REALLY uncomfortable, and encouraged because I know there are some things that just don't add up in my soul and I know that only God can fix them.  What to do?

I think this tension might be the reason that people don't really want to spend any real time in the presence of God.  The longer we stay in His presence, the more we see ourselves the way He sees us - and that is equal parts scary and freeing.  When we spend time with God, He will not fail to point out to us where we are clutching onto sinful habits, attitudes, behaviors.  But He will also never fail to speak love to us, around us, in us.  This journey is just a little too scary for many followers of Christ, so they are content to sit in the bleachers of spirituality without giving themselves over to walking in the "way" with Jesus.  Checking out on our soul is no way to live though.  In fact, I think that it doesn't really constitute living - just existing.

I want to have the guts to let God examine me - investigate me.  It's hard for me sometimes, truly.  And I know it is hard for you as well.  But unless you and I do it, it will be very hard to see our footprints on the way of Jesus.

So, this week, get before the Examiner....the Investigator and ask Him to open up a case file on you.  Listen to what He says to you in the pages of His Word (forgive, don't sow seeds of dissension, keep your romance confined to your spouse, lay off the liquor, quit overeating, love people, let go of your anger, stop being bitter).  But know that in all of those things that He points out to you and me, there will be a message, just as strong, that will accompany it: 

I love you.